


Not in Love

by Tobyaudax



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: M/M, i might have to post a story that takes place in this au but before this one, i'm not in love- the 10cc version really is best, inspired by a dear tumblr friend, like he does everything- to wish radditz back, takes place in a sloppy au i created a year or so ago-, the title came about a week after i'd written this- i'm normally not great with titles, wherein gokuu decides- on a whim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 18:24:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6435499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobyaudax/pseuds/Tobyaudax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Radditz has been wished back and subsequently worn out his welcome with his little brother's family (established before the start of this story). For reasons of which he's not entirely certain, Yamcha volunteers to put the Saiyan up until he can start a new, murder-free life on Earth. Things go on a roller coaster ride from there, for both men.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What a Prick

Initially, the whole thing had seemed like a terrible idea. Yamcha still wasn't sure why he'd even agreed to it- maybe he wanted to help his friend out or maybe he had become so pathetically lonely that he welcomed the company of a cold-blooded killer. The second option wasn't true, though, because he had Puar and after spending only a few minutes in Radditz's company, he _still_ didn't like the Saiyan. So it seemed he was just a very nice guy doing an old friend a favor by letting Gokuu's asshole brother stay with him for a little while. An extremely nice guy, really. If he'd had any idea just how much of a dick, how irritating, Radditz would be, Yamcha never would have let him stay.

Gokuu had teleported his giant brother out to Yamcha's modest cabin on the outskirts of one of Earth's many deserts and left him there with a friendly wave good-bye. It was time for dinner, he'd explained- did Yamcha see a tear in Radditz's eye at those words?- and then Gokuu had disappeared with a nod. Yamcha figured Gokuu was happy to have more of Chi-Chi's meals to himself, though he'd have to ask his friend directly if he wanted confirmation on that. The two men stood outside, one awkwardly, the other looking around, bored and unimpressed. Not like Yamcha had nor would ever feel the need to impress the likes of that Saiyan.

As Yamcha was about to offer a tour of his home, Radditz let out a long sigh and then let himself inside, the door banging noisily behind him.

"What a prick," Puar hissed under his breath. Even though they all knew Yamcha was a great deal more powerful than Radditz, the shape shifter didn't want to risk angering their guest- who knew what the Saiyan would do when they were asleep!

"Well, yeah," Yamcha sighed, rubbing his face with both hands. "But we're stuck with him, so we have to try to get along."

"You're too nice." Puar echoed Yamcha's thoughts from a few moments ago, pulling a crooked smile from his friend. It would be the last time Yamcha smiled for two months.

\-- --

In addition to being rude, Radditz also didn't exercise good hygiene. He "bathed" every other week and only when Yamcha chased him out of the house with a washcloth and bar of soap. And even then, the Saiyan merely located a body of water, swam around for an hour or so and came right back to the cabin, never having touched the soap nor scrubbing the offensive odors out of his shirt and sweatpants- both articles of clothing being the only ones he had and had come from Gokuu, so they didn't fit him very well. The shirt disappeared some time during his third week with Yamcha and Puar and his pants became obscenely short shorts not long after his shirt went missing.

He never helped with the dishes and had no idea how to cook anything. He couldn't be trusted with laundry or groceries, either. So the big lump mainly lay around the house and complained about the state of everything. Sure he was happy to be alive again, he didn't want to be ungrateful… but then he would launch into the many ways life on Earth just plain sucked. Yamcha was a terrible cook and his couch was too small. Puar was probably food and Radditz couldn't understand why Yamcha didn't just eat him. The first time he suggested eating Yamcha's best friend, the human had stomped down his outrage. Radditz was an alien- he just didn't know any better. But the second time he brought it up was going too far.

It was a few days into Radditz's third month staying with them and he was outside, lying in a patch of sun-fried grass and staring at the bright, autumn sky. His shorts were almost gone and Yamcha was embarrassed to admit he'd almost gotten used to seeing the other man in next to nothing. Yamcha and Puar had left that morning to go into the nearest town for supplies and were not the least bit surprised to find Radditz exactly where they'd left him, hours ago. The big Saiyan was chewing on a long blade of grass and rolled his neck to watch his hosts make their way indoors, their arms laden with bags and packages.

"You get any good meat?" He called after Yamcha. Radditz never spoke to Puar; he considered the cat a dumb animal, despite the multitude of times he'd heard Puar talk.

"Yeah," Yamcha grunted, juggling the supplies to open the front door. "Couple steaks for tonight."

"Dunno why we don't just eat the blue guy," Radditz mused, turning his attention back to the sky. He ignored the sound of dropped parcels and then squinted up at the shadow looming over him. "What," he said, voice flat and disinterested.

Yamcha moved like lightning- his hands shot forward and buried in the big Saiyan's hair, hauling him to his knees and eye-level with the now furious human. Radditz blinked, confused, but before he could say anything else, Yamcha had freed one hand to pull back and punch the other man in the face. He grinned as he felt the Saiyan's nose break beneath his fist. He couldn't tell if Puar was shocked or delighted and in that moment, he didn't care. His violence had been brought on by threats to his friend but he found that, once he started beating Radditz, he didn't want to stop. Two months of silently putting up with his boorish guest had worn on him and the best possible stress release, it seemed, was pummeling the other man unconscious.

The Saiyan put up a fight, of course- it was what his people were bred for, after all- but he was nowhere near Yamcha's league, power-wise. He'd been dead a long time and hadn't bothered to resume any kind of training in the months since he'd been resurrected. He was rusty, he could admit. And at some point during the beating, Radditz was overcome by an unwelcome nostalgia- Nappa and Vegeta had pounded him in much the same fashion, in the old days. It was just what happened when you were the weakest. In his last moments of lucidity, before he passed out, he was chagrined to admit that a lowly human was doing to him what previously had been done by Elite Saiyans. What could he possibly have done to warrant such behavior..?

\-- --

There were plenty of Senzu up at Korin's place, but Yamcha refused to get any. He hadn't done any permanent damage and Saiyans healed at least a little faster than humans, anyway. And a cruel part of himself that he hadn't seen in decades reasoned with him that Radditz had had it coming- he deserved to keep the messed up nose and shattered cheekbone Yamcha had given him. A few ribs were broken and more had been bruised; his collarbone had also been broken, in addition to all the fingers on his left hand, when he'd first tried to fight back. The only thing on him Yamcha hadn't bruised or bloodied or broken had been the Saiyan's tail. Even after everything he'd been through, that just hadn't seemed fair.

"I appreciate the sentiment," Puar said, none too gently cleaning the blood off Radditz's face. "But I think you went too far with all… this." He gestured lamely at the Saiyan spilling out of the small bathtub. They'd dragged him inside when Yamcha had taken a breath and come to his senses- Puar had had to transform to help move him that far.

"I really did," Yamcha agreed. He sat on the lid of the toilet, his own knuckles scraped and bloodied from the beating. "I just- I got so _mad!_ He's been nothing but a- but a total dick since he got here and I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't let him keep talking about you like that."

"Are we gonna kick him out? I mean, when he's a little better?"

"God, I'd love to. But I don't think Gokuu would like that."

"I hate to say it, but, uh, I think any debt you think you owe Gokuu has long-since been repaid."

Yamcha nodded a few times, absently after a while. He leaned forward, forearms across his thighs, studying the Saiyan under the harsh, fluorescent lights. He hadn't thought of letting Radditz stay as repaying a debt to Gokuu, but that was what it had been, hadn't it? For all the times Gokuu had saved the world, saved the universe, giving his friend's deadbeat brother a temporary place to live had seemed like the least Yamcha could do. Of course, Gokuu hadn't done what he'd done over the years for any kind of payment! He wasn't like that and never had been. But still Yamcha felt indebted; that he had some kind of score to settle, even.

"Y'know, when you say it out loud, it seems pretty stupid."

"I'm sure the others feel the same, though," Puar pointed out, dropping the washcloth over Radditz's face and floating over to sit on the sink next to Yamcha. "Look at Krillin! He's got a family and he still drops everything to follow Gokuu and Vegeta into every fight that pops up!"

"Tien tends to keep to himself, though," Yamcha mused. "Until he can make a dramatic entrance. Sometimes he's worse than Piccolo with all that. I bet he doesn't even know he's doing it."

"Maybe he just trains and sleeps all the time," Yamcha chuckled. "Maybe all these aliens and gods show up when he's sleeping and he has to get dressed quickly or something and that's why his timing tends to suck."

They shared a chuckle and everything felt normal again. Until they glanced at the tub and the bloody, naked mess (the shorts had come off when they dragged him inside and neither of them wanted to touch the filthy garment) that had been dropped there. Yamcha and Puar sighed in unison and Yamcha stood to wash and bandage his hands. It would be so much easier to just give the Saiyan a Senzu, but he wanted Radditz to learn a lesson. It kind of sucked that it would take such violence to get through to him- if it got through at all- but that was just the way Saiyans were, right?

"I'll finish up in here- you wanna start dinner?" Yamcha asked. Puar nodded and tried not to hurry out of the cramped bathroom. He knew both that the Saiyan wasn't capable of doing anything in his current state and that, even if he was, Yamcha wouldn't let him hurt the little cat, but that didn't stop him from feeling uneasy around Radditz.

It took a couple hours to get the big man cleaned and bandaged. Yamcha had settled for leaving him in the tub with a towel draped over his crotch- he didn't want to see Radditz's junk every time he had to use the bathroom, unsure as to how long the other man would be unconscious. That evening, he and Puar had the best meal they'd eaten in nearly three months. They talked and laughed quietly; afraid the slightest sound would wake Radditz and ruin their shared good mood. By the time he went to bed, Yamcha no longer felt bad about brutalizing his guest; it was no more than the Saiyan had deserved. And he wouldn't have to ever resort to such… inhumane tactics again because surely, after a beating like that, how could the other man _not_ have learned some manners?


	2. THIS is hospitality?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Radditz is served comeuppance and doesn't like the taste. He reacts immaturely, surprising no one. Yamcha tries to move on and pretends he and Puar can get along with their guest. He doesn't really succeed.

Radditz woke up late the following morning, his entire body ranging from sore to outright tortured in places. He recognized the bathroom and tried to sit up, but his left hand- and then his vocal cords- screamed in protest. Yamcha was in the doorway in an instant, wearing only boxer shorts and looking equal parts scared, angry and concerned. Puar hovered behind him, a shitty grin on his face.

"Morning, sunshine," the cat drawled. "Be careful with that hand. And your ribs. And your collar bone, face, nose…"

"What the hell's the matter with you?" Radditz demanded, though whether he was finally talking to Puar or addressing Yamcha, they weren't sure. Yamcha cleared his throat and looked around the room, his guilt from the previous day creeping up on him.

"Well- you-. You can't talk to or about Puar like you did yesterday," he finally got out, expression stern and voice getting stronger as he continued. "No one is ever going to eat him- he's _not food_ , he's my _friend_ and you're gonna _respect_ that. And! You're gonna start helping out around the house! No more freeloading! You're gonna wash dishes and clean up after yourself and take a damn bath twice a week!"

Radditz let him talk- mostly it was yelling- averting his eyes long enough to peek under the towel to make sure his important bits were undamaged. He was quiet for a few moments after Yamcha finished his demands, mulling everything over. The human had certainly established his dominance- for now- and was taking advantage of the fact. Like anyone in his position would do- like Radditz would totally have done, if given the chance.

"What's 'freeloading'? I wasn't doing _anything_ , so I couldn't have been doing whatever that is-"

"That's what- it's doing nothing, you dummy," Puar interrupted, more amused than angry. "Freeloading is lying around and being a big, lazy, good-for-nothing lump when other people are being nothing but hospitable to you."

" _This_ is hospitality?" Radditz tried to sneer as he gestured at his bruised body, but the expression pulled his tender nose and cheek and he whimpered, instead.

"That was… unfortunate," Yamcha sighed, dropping down to sit on the toilet and catching his head in his hands. "I was pissed- you threatened to eat my friend! What was I supposed to do?!"

"…Use your words?" Radditz suggested, his tone mocking.

Something in Yamcha's eyes, and the way his hands clenched and his forearms tensed, made Radditz swallow anything else he was going to say. He really was in no position to keep mouthing off. It seemed he was firmly back at the bottom of, well, everything. He rolled his eyes and turned his head away, muttering incoherently, acquiescing. At least he would get a power boost out of it- and incentive to take up training again. It would be _deeply_ satisfying to see the human broken and begging beneath his foot.

"Okay, well," Yamcha coughed and stumbled out of the bathroom, doing his best to pretend he hadn't seen the way the towel over Radditz's crotch was rising. "Lunch will be ready pretty soon- I'll, uh, bring it to you. Unless you can get up on your own..?"

Radditz levered his right hand under him and rose unsteadily to his feet, just catching the towel before it revealed how delighted he was with his future revenge plans. Yamcha and Puar disappeared from the doorway, their faces distinctly flushed, and Radditz considered it a victory. Whether they were still intimidated by his size or put off by his overt manliness didn't matter- they'd retreated from him. Maybe he wasn't so far beneath the human and his… friend as he'd previously thought.

\-- --

Since he hadn't so much as sparred with anyone since being revived, Radditz didn't know about Senzu beans or their remarkable properties. He did complain once about the lack of healing tanks, but a scathing look from Yamcha made him keep any more whining to himself. And since he was still mad about being beaten by a human, Radditz decided to take his frustration out on the housework. He was too rough with the laundry, ruining an entire load of underwear and almost destroying the washing machine. He managed to break the vacuum within a few minutes of being shown how to use it- how was he to know the device couldn't be used on the curtains? He broke a few dishes before Puar caught on to his scheme and he suffered a rather embarrassing berating from Yamcha about taking care of other people's things. Being yelled at by someone he saw as typically weaker than him was worse than being beaten up- the way Yamcha spoke was demeaning and made him feel small, almost like a child again. He spent more and more of his diminished free time on plotting vengeance.

Working around the house provided him with the unforeseen benefit of spending more time around Yamcha and also caused him to learn things about the human. The most obvious and useful knowledge being that the other man was uncomfortable with Radditz's penchant for wearing as little clothing as possible. At some point, Yamcha and Puar had obtained a limited wardrobe for him, so he wasn't stuck wandering around in just a towel. Radditz had suggested he just go without clothing entirely and was treated to a violent blush and sputtering refusal from Yamcha. Interesting. Normally, Radditz wasn't good at subtle. He wasn't entirely sure what the word even meant. But he took pains to gradually shed various articles of clothing throughout the following days.

He'd never liked shirts- never even wearing them under his armor- and pants were just out of the question. How could he deny any world the sight of his beautiful legs? He had been given four t-shirts, two pairs of sweatpants, two pairs of what should have been loose, longer shorts (they fit him rather tight around the thighs) and a week's supply of briefs. He'd endured another lecture when he'd tried to get away with just wearing the briefs, honestly mistaking them for stand-alone articles. Two of the shirts he was able to ruin with the laundry he'd been assigned once and the pants had quickly become shorts when he found where the scissors were kept. His remaining shirts lost their sleeves and he was happily not given more "decent" clothing to replace his alterations. And that was only stage one of his newly blossoming scheme.

Stage two was considerably less subtle. Radditz made sure he exerted himself as much as possible, as early in the day as possible. It wasn't that difficult, sadly, since he was still healing. There was firewood that still needed chopped- winter was only a couple weeks away- so he set himself to that task most often. A few hours in, he would wait until Yamcha was nearby before slowly removing his shirt and mopping his face with the mostly soaked garment. He would then painstakingly wipe his chest down, stretching his arms and torso just so, showing off glistening muscle and causing his shorts to dip dangerously low. He was rewarded with more hilarious blushing and once, Yamcha even walked right into the closed front door. It took every speck of Radditz's willpower not to guffaw at the sight.

He wasn't sure why Yamcha was so flustered by his nudity- partial and otherwise. It was pretty obvious that the human found him attractive. And there were never any women around, either, so that wasn't helping any case Yamcha might try to build against that attraction. One day, while half-assedly cleaning, Radditz had found photos- old, old photos- of Bulma, though none of them were worth jerking off to. She was practically a child and fully clothed in all of them. There weren't even any dirty magazines or videos in Yamcha's place! It was a fucking monastery! Which was another reason he so enjoyed flaunting himself in front of the other man. They were both pretty sexually frustrated and Radditz intended to, eventually, do something about it.

As much fun as he was having messing with Yamcha, he'd managed to forget about Puar. Unfortunately, the shape shifter hadn't forgotten about him. One chilly afternoon, Radditz was working through the last of the firewood they'd need for the winter. He'd already lost his shirt and was in the process of presenting his ass to the front window while lifting a particularly heavy log to split. He turned and dropped the cylinder on the chopping block with a surprised grunt- Puar was floating a few feet in front of him, at eye level, one paw tapping on the opposite arm and a look of utter distaste twitching his whiskers.

"Don’t think I don't see what you're doing," he hissed, baring tiny fangs. Radditz tried not to chuckle.

"Chopping wood? Earning my keep? Doing my master's bidding?" He snickered on the last one- he'd taken to referring to Yamcha as "master" because it drove the human crazy with embarrassment. Yamcha hadn't realized Radditz was fucking with him and had, hilariously, thought the Saiyan was serious. He'd almost _begged_ Radditz to just call him "Yamcha", but to no avail. It was getting more and more difficult to keep a straight face whenever he did it.

"Taking advantage of a sweet, lonely guy," Puar corrected. "He's been nothing but nice to you- putting you in your place notwithstanding- and you just keep being a total prick. He's not an idiot, either. He'll figure out what you're up to- that you're just messing with him, and then…" Puar trailed off, chuckling, and Radditz no longer felt like laughing.

"Just because he thinks you look good won't save you another, worse beating. Or maybe I'll just let Gokuu know how you're treating his friend-"

"Okay, hah, you got me!" Radditz forced a smile on his face and laughter into his voice. "No need to bring Kakarot into this- I'm just- I was fuckin' around, just messin' with him! All in good fun- no harm intended! Let's just you and me forget this conversation ever happened, huh? I got a lot of work to do, see? So, uh, I'll just get back to it…"

He didn't wait for Puar to say anything else, whipping around and hefting the axe to make quick work of the last couple logs. When he looked over his shoulder again, the cat was gone. Well there went the most fun he'd had in months! …But Puar had admitted that Yamcha actually found him attractive. Sure, Radditz could plainly see that for himself, but it was doubly gratifying to hear it. Maybe he didn't have to abandon his entertainment just yet. Maybe he could take things yet another level further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't seen Dragon Ball (I'm sorry- I'll watch it some day!) so I don't have the best handle on Puar. His reactions are how I felt most people would behave if something like this (yikes!) were happening to their friend.


	3. No Wonder You're Such a Dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamcha almost gets introspective, but thinks better of it. Radditz tries to be smooth and kind of? succeeds. Puar is everyone's voice of reason and tries to keep his guard up. And, for visualization purposes, Yamcha has grown his hair a little longer again- not quite Saiyan Saga long, but definitely around the shoulders.

Once he and Puar had straightened Radditz out about the housework, Yamcha figured things would be alright between them. He hoped that the Saiyan would come to see how much of a jerk he'd been and then they could all settle into a nice routine, at least until Radditz was fully healed and could find a place of his own, somewhere very, very far away. Of course Radditz had other plans, plans that seemed to involve carefully needling at Yamcha's nerves. It was so subtle- something he didn't think Radditz was capable of- that he didn't know what was happening until it was too late. Yamcha couldn’t even pinpoint when he realized Radditz wasn't just walking around half-naked for his own sake. He didn't like clothes, so he wore as little as possible, as often as possible. Yamcha could kind of understand it and, hey, if he were as ripped as the bigger man, he would probably do everything in just his boxers, too. Not that Yamcha wasn't attractive- so many women and some men over the years had told him otherwise- more that he wasn't remotely as secure in his appearance as… some people were in theirs.

He eventually stopped telling the Saiyan to wear a shirt, even as the weather got colder. And, as the days passed and Radditz managed to be useful, his inability to cover up was ignored. Well, not ignored, so much as Yamcha quit commenting on it. He noticed not just Radditz's body, but the lingering signs of the damage he'd dealt it. His guilt remained- a ghost that faded daily, as the Saiyan didn't seem to be pained by his injuries. The bruises changed color, melting through a healing spectrum before finally disappearing, and the bandages gradually came off. The Saiyan's nose would never be the same, but Radditz gave no indication that he was bothered by the fact. So it was jarring for Yamcha to realize he was no longer tracking Radditz's healing process but simply looking at him for the sake of looking.

As time wore on and Radditz took on the more laborious chores, Yamcha's interactions with him lessened. They ate together at meal times and the Saiyan would occasionally stand in a doorway while Yamcha and Puar watched television in the evenings, but they spoke very little. Yamcha had been mortified when Radditz started calling him "master" and was quick to try to stop such deference before it took too strong a hold. He hadn't meant to subjugate the Saiyan with the beating, but it seemed that that was how Radditz saw it. Every time he asked the other man to do something, he was greeted with some variation of, "Yes, master." And every time he insisted that Radditz should just call him Yamcha, that he wasn't any kind of boss or- or overlord to the Saiyan, Radditz simply shrugged and repeated an affirmation and the title.

Yamcha did his best to avoid Radditz soon after the new, unpleasant nickname stuck. And, as direct conversation and even eye contact between them became rarer, the instances of Yamcha just watching Radditz increased. The Saiyan had a strange gracefulness about him- well, maybe "graceful" was the wrong word, but Yamcha noticed that, for such a big man, Radditz moved… lightly, with more care than such a large person would be expected to. Sure there was usually a swagger in his step, but he didn't stomp anywhere, didn't plod; he wasn't cumbersome, even in the small cabin. He moved with confidence, something Yamcha had never really mastered.

Whether he meant to or not, Radditz did manage to fall into a routine of sorts. He chopped wood around the same time each day and Yamcha just so happened to be either in the house near the front window, or doing something else outside, as the Saiyan worked. He checked in sporadically, at first, just making sure Radditz knew what he was doing. When it became apparent that raising and lowering an axe was something the Saiyan had quickly gotten the hang of, Yamcha settled into stealing more than occasional glances. And, over the course of a few days- possibly less, maybe more- he quit pretending to be busy altogether and openly stared at the well-muscled form that glistened with sweat on his front yard.

Of course Radditz would look up from time to time- either because he felt Yamcha's eyes on him, or simply because his healing body needed a break. And in those instances, he would inevitably lock eyes with the other man. Yamcha was never quick or smooth in averting his gaze and at least once had run into a door while trying to get away. But he never noticed so much as a sneer on the Saiyan's lips, nor heard any snickering in the wake of his retreating. It was as though every time their eyes accidentally met was truly an accident. He reasoned that Radditz could only assume he still wasn't trusted- that was the only reason he would keep watch over the Saiyan. Right?

\-- --

Winter was cold, but not unbearably so. Radditz had seen the end of it while staying with Kakarot and his family, but that had been high on a mountain and included snow and air so frigid at times that his breath had turned to ice in front of him. Winter near the desert was devoid of snow and came with a cold much less humid. Still, all that firewood he'd prepared would be greatly appreciated. A side effect of the chilly weather was that he was forced- of his own free will- to wear more clothing. Though it turned out he could have a similarly devastating effect on Yamcha while wearing a sweater and jeans- they'd managed to find a few more things that actually fit his massive frame. The fabric hugged every curve and muscle and was just as good as being half naked. He caught the other man blatantly ogling him one evening and grinned before Yamcha looked away. It was time to make a move.

He stayed closer than normal while they made dinner in the small kitchen and moved his chair next to Yamcha's while they ate. Puar kept a wary eye on him and when Yamcha finally turned his back to start on the dishes, the cat gestured that he was watching Radditz just as closely. The Saiyan put on his best innocent face and raised his hands- _I'm not doing anything_ , his pose said. Puar scowled and it was the fucking cutest thing he'd ever seen.

That evening, they watched television and Radditz sat beside Yamcha on the sofa, their thighs and knees touching. Yamcha made a quiet, strangled noise in the back of his throat, but didn't move or make an excuse to go into the kitchen… or bathroom. Radditz grinned lazily and stretched his arms over his head, settling one on the back of the couch, behind Yamcha. His hand drifted down and brushed the other man's shoulder.

"So you and Bulma used to fuck?" He asked during a commercial break. Yamcha fell off the couch. Radditz bit his tongue hard to keep from laughing.

"We… dated," Yamcha coughed as he settled back into his seat, now a couple inches between them. "We uh, we were never- we never had sex." He finished in a mumble, ducking his head in a vain attempt to hide his blush. Radditz wondered just how old Yamcha was… and if he'd ever fucked (or been fucked by) anyone, ever.

"She's a hell of a woman," Radditz mused, spreading his legs a little to meet his knee with Yamcha's once more. "Seems like a handful- no idea how Vegeta manages."

"Just lucky, I guess," Yamcha chuckled, and there was no bitterness in the sound.

"Kakarot told me you and her were together. Told me you're afraid of women, too."

"Ha ha what! No I'm not why did he tell you that," Yamcha blurted out, his startled laughter blending seamlessly into an embarrassed grumble, all in the span of a few seconds.

"Nothing to be ashamed of," Radditz continued, stretching his arm out, palming Yamcha's shoulder and nudging him close again. "Women are trouble, more than anything. I've found men are way easier to be around, don't you think?"

"Heh, sometimes. I guess. I mean, all my friends are guys. Except Bulma, and I guess Chi-Chi… 18 is kind of my friend, I mean, since she's married to Krillin, who's a friend. And Lunch, but she's… I think she's more of an acquaintance?"

"Got a regular sausage party here on Earth, huh? Nothing wrong with that." Radditz chuckled easily, his hand smoothing the sweater down Yamcha's arm.

"It's pretty late I'm gonna just go to bed g'night!" Yamcha was on his feet and backing out of the room in the blink of an eye. Radditz sat on the sofa, dumbfounded, and watched him stumble out of sight. Damnit, he'd been so close!

"I will scratch your balls off if you try that again," Puar hissed in his ear, making him nearly jump through the ceiling.

\-- --

He had to take it much slower the following weeks. Clearly Yamcha was both still a virgin and in denial of his attraction to Radditz. The whole situation was puzzling to the Saiyan- why would an obviously good-looking guy (there was something distinctly Saiyan about his face and colouration) go so long without sex? And why was he so jumpy about thinking another man was hot? Was Earth a planet of total prudes? It was like Vegeta all over again- though in _that_ one's case, he'd been too busy getting more powerful to even think about pussy or dick. More for Radditz- ah, those were the days! He wasn't what most of the universe had considered conventionally attractive- in the face, at least- but his body was something he'd always been proud of. Women and men alike had thrown themselves at him over the years- and he at them. Sex was one of the best things in his old life; it didn't matter that he was the weakest remaining Saiyan when he was in someone's bed.

Such reverie had the surprising effect of making Radditz realize he wasn't _just_ messing with Yamcha anymore. He was momentarily alarmed to find he really did want to fuck the other man. When had he gone from turning the tables to just needing a good lay? It was probably the fact that he hadn't seen another living person in months; he never went into town for supplies and never encountered humans or otherwise when he roamed the sparsely wooded area surrounding Yamcha's property. That had to be it- he and Yamcha were equally starved for company. But the difference between them was that Radditz wasn't going to deny himself. Before winter was over, he was going fuck Yamcha's brains out. He wasn't even worried about Puar telling Kakarot. After all, he just wanted to make his brother's friend feel good. There wasn't anything wrong with that. That was what he was practicing saying, should Kakarot show up out of nowhere.

He kept his distance for a week or so, making sure that he didn't get too close to the other man. He kept up as friendly a demeanor as he could, as well. That wasn't too hard, though- he found he liked talking with Yamcha. He liked hearing stories about the human's youth and his adventures with Kakarot. And he regaled both Yamcha and Puar with his least raunchy and bloody tales. They were interested in what other aliens were like and other worlds, though the atmosphere often became awkward and uncomfortable when talk of planet purging or Freeza came up. Radditz did his best to keep the conversation on Yamcha and his life- it didn't do anyone, especially him, any good to dwell on most of his past.

Not that he had regrets! He wasn't sorry for most of what he'd done in his previous life. Though he made a point, one evening, of explaining to Yamcha that what he'd enjoyed about planet purging hadn't been wanton destruction, but the worlds that had presented him with challenging fighters.

"It seriously wasn't any fun to just blow up villages of women and children," he said, adding another log to the fireplace. "I didn't just go around killing for fun- I wasn't a total, what, psychopath. I wasn't Vegeta or Nappa… No, it was only good when the people were strong, hell, when they were stronger than us! I was in it for the challenge! And, yeah, because I didn't have any other choice. Clear planets for Freeza or die- kind of a no-brainer."

"You couldn't just, I don't know, run away? Find some place to lay low until they forgot about you?" Puar stirred his hot cocoa, not doing a good job of keeping his disdain for Radditz's career- and Radditz- out of his voice.

"Oh I tried, once or twice," he laughed. "Got pretty far the first time. But it's not easy to keep a low profile when there's only three of your whole species left alive. And don't you even _think_ to suggest I shoulda cut my tail off," he snarled at Puar, who snapped his mouth shut and glanced away.

"But they found me and Vegeta beat me almost to death. Then Freeza beat him and _technically_ killed him, but they revived him pretty quick in a healing tank. And when I got out of my tank, Nappa kicked my ass for getting Vegeta so badly beaten. …Really, I don't know why they were so mad- Vegeta got a massive boost in his battle power from it."

"You said once or twice you ran off- what happened the second time?" Yamcha didn't usually have much to say during Radditz's stories, so it was encouraging to hear him speak up. The Saiyan smiled and settled back against the sofa, folding his hands in his lap.

"Ran into the Ginyu Tokusentai that time. I was still a kid, so they didn't rough me up too bad- those guys and their weird warrior's codes. The big one- the _really_ big one- dragged my dumb ass right up to Freeza and left me there. I pissed my shorts, I was so scared. But all I got was a lecture I can't remember and a badly broken tail. …And then Vegeta got his ass beat again. And _then_ Nappa wailed on me and I figured it wasn't worth it to run anymore."

They were only memories and he recounted them almost fondly. But he regretted talking about such things, the room was so silent when he was done. The fire crackled and a piece of kindling snapped. Puar took a loud slurp of his cocoa. Radditz sighed and got to his feet.

"That's enough Depressing Radditz Theatre for one night," he laughed. "See you guys in the morning-"

"I'm sorry," Yamcha said. He stood and looked up at Radditz with something akin to pity in his eyes, but not quite so painful. Maybe it was understanding- but that wasn't possible. A guy like Yamcha, someone from Earth, could have no idea what it was like to have been a Saiyan working for Freeza. There was a word for it and Radditz was going to figure it out.

"That- that really sucks and I'm sorry you had such a- a shitty life. No wonder you're such a dick." He smiled at the end, a crooked, almost sad kind of smile. Radditz let out a bark of a laugh and turned on his heels, slouching into the guest room and rolling into the pile of blankets that made up his bed; he was too large for the mattress and had propped it against the window to keep the cold at bay. He'd never seen a look like that before, not directed at him or anyone else that he could remember. It bothered him, but it definitely wasn't pity. He'd seen pity a few times, recognized and resented it. So what was it in Yamcha's face, that bastard child of pity and some kind of insight?

It came to him as he fell asleep, two words so alien he'd only heard them once, months ago, right there on Earth: empathy and compassion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a long chapter! I don't think it's a bad thing to be a virgin. When you're not ready, you're not ready. Also, I don't see Radditz as a psycho murder machine- I like to think he didn't enjoy killing people who were way weaker than him. It's like his one redeeming trait.


	4. A Real Saiyan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Radditz's trolling gets away from him. Yamcha remains largely oblivious. Puar calms down and starts playing matchmaker. Bonus: Special Guest Appearance!

Things between them were suddenly a lot less awkward after that and Radditz wanted to smack himself for not thinking to talk about his past sooner. But how could he have known how both Yamcha and even Puar would react! The little shape shifter was almost being nice to him the following days. There were less threats of tearing his balls off or scratching up his dick. They even managed to go an entire day without throwing insults at each other- it was amazing! But the thing that really floored him was the change in Yamcha. The other man gradually stopped avoiding him whenever Radditz starting getting cozy. Sure, it took another two weeks for him to stop blushing and flinching away, but it was worth it the night that Yamcha sat next to him on the sofa during their favourite show and put an arm behind the Saiyan's big shoulders. Puar didn't bat an eye; the only sign he'd noticed was a flick of his tail.

As a very small courtesy to Yamcha, Radditz had gradually stopped referring to him as "master". It had just stopped being funny, he told himself. Neither the cat nor the human seemed to notice when he began using his host's name. He wondered if he was really just that subtle or if they had decided it wasn't worth it to rub it in. He was reasonably sure _he_ would have made a big deal, if their positions had been swapped, but his certainty wavered often in the face of Yamcha's smiles and every casual touch. It was getting really hard not to just jump Yamcha where and whenever he encountered the other man, but Radditz wasn't some randy kid- he could control himself. He would keep waiting until Yamcha was ready. Radditz had been many things in the past, but he was happy to say "rapist" was never one of them.

"I appreciate that you're taking your time, here," Puar had floated into the bathroom one afternoon while Radditz was taking a piss. "But you need to know that if you hurt him, if you break his heart, I'll kill you myself."

It was tempting to make a joke about his dick, but Radditz had simply nodded, giving himself a shake and then making a production out of washing his hands. Puar had pulled a wry face and flushed the toilet with his tail before exiting as quietly as he'd appeared.

It was a rare, warmer day, so Radditz had taken off outside. He walked for more than a few miles before launching himself off the ground and into the air. When was the last time he'd flown?! It felt like it had been years! He soared higher, glancing down to watch the landscape shrink beneath him. When it got too cold, he let himself drop into warmer air and then followed the ocean currents to even balmier parts of the planet. Earth wasn't unique in its different climates and geography, but it was rare. He was glad, now, that Freeza had never caught wind of the place. …Or had he? Someone had told him that Freeza had shown up at least once, possibly twice. But the Earth still stood, still wandered around its sun, in its peaceful little corner of the vast universe.

Radditz found a winter-free desert and touched down on top of a plateau. He shrugged out of his sweater and bent to cuff his jeans- it was way too warm there for so much clothing. He stood for a long time and watched the clouds cast great, strange shadows on the earth around him. But it wasn't warm air or the scenery that had made him leave the cabin. Radditz needed distance between himself and Puar's words. Puar's far too serious words.

**_If you break his heart_** repeated on an endless loop in his mind, but he didn't see Puar attached to the thought. Instead, he played a supercut of his time with Yamcha: watching the human bring home food and other supplies, seeing him do housework and not complain (at first) about Radditz's lack of assistance. He saw bits of the fantastic beating Yamcha had given him, immediately followed by that blush when he'd run out of the bathroom the following morning. Yamcha cooking and showing him how to chop firewood. Yamcha putting the storm windows in, getting out winter clothes, laughing at the television, talking about his past… When had the simple game of "fuck the human" turned into something so terrifyingly complex? It was really stupid, when he slowed down and thought about it.

"Run out of children to kidnap, did you now?" Radditz would never in a thousand lives forget that voice. He grinned and sent a silent prayer to any gods that were listening for such a welcome diversion.

"There isn't a kid on this planet that _can't_ kick my ass, Namek, so try another one."

"Even the daughter of Gohan is capable of beating you," the Namek chuckled. He touched down a few feet away and let his eyes travel from Radditz's bare feet up to his naked torso. He glanced at the ground, at the discarded, heavy sweater, and quirked a brow. "What do you so far from the cold? Were not you staying with Yamcha?"

It took him a few seconds to piece together the green man's words, the strange way he spoke (maybe it was a Namekian thing), but when he did, he was angry that his distraction wasn't behaving as one. Radditz shrugged, the gesture calculated nonchalance, and turned his back on the other man.

"You said it yourself- I needed a break from the cold. Why stay and freeze my ass off when I can bother dicks like you?"

"So Son was not mistaken- you are indeed living near the desert." It was a statement- the Namek didn't actually ask questions, so much as say facts at people, it seemed.

"Nothing gets by you," Radditz scoffed. "Yeah, I'm parking my tail out there until something better comes along. Listen, you can either fight me or take that green ass of yours elsewhere- I'm not much for talking right now."

"As you wish." The Namek took his time shedding his weighted clothing until he was only wearing a purple gi- he even took his weird shoes off. Radditz dropped into a fighting pose and the Namek mirrored him. They circled each other and, as he roared and launched himself forward, Radditz realized he hadn't gotten into a real fight since the day he'd died.

\-- --

After the Namek had called a halt to the abysmal sparring match, Radditz flew under his own power back to the plateau where he'd left most of his clothing. The fight- if it could even be called that!- hadn't traveled far. He'd gotten a few decent enough hits in, sending a string of purple blood sailing from Piccolo's mouth early on. But he soon realized the Namek had only been toying with him, allowing him a few ridiculously obvious openings, testing him and his skills. Radditz had failed miserably.

He heard the other man land a short distance behind him and, small miracle, kept any comments or critiques about Radditz's fighting to himself. Heaving a ragged, pained sigh, the Saiyan forced all his attention on a post-battle series of stretches. That proved to be a terrible idea, as it caused him nearly as much pain as the time Yamcha had broken his ribs. _Oh, great._ Radditz cursed in between shallow breaths as he raised an arm over his head and gingerly felt around his rib cage. Yeah, some of those were definitely broken.

"Though your chi weak, I had expected a greater battle from you. You are distracted- something weighs on your mind."

"The only thing _weighing_ on me is the fact that you were pulling your punches from the start," Radditz spat. His frown deepened into a full-blown death-glare when the Namek chuckled.

"Had I used even half the power at my disposal, you would again be no longer of this world. Sit and I will aid with the treatment of your injuries."

The Saiyan shot him a dirty look, one that plainly conveyed he didn't need any help. He bent to pick up his clothes and sucked in a breath as his damaged ribs shifted. That sharp inhale caused another and another that would have resulted in an embarrassing hyperventilation show if he hadn't allowed himself to collapse on the dusty ground. He rolled his eyes up at the Namek and turned his head away- it was as close as he could bring himself to accepting the out of place offer. Well, out of place as far as he knew- the Namek didn't strike him as someone who helped anyone, let alone the guy that had tried to kill him decades ago.

"Something was causing you mental distress, a state I did not think one such as you could be found in," the Namek said as he wrapped Radditz's broken ribs in tape he'd created out of thin air.

"Ha ha, I'm an idiot. Very funny- good one, green man." He managed not to wince when the tape was pulled tight.

"Seeing for myself that you are less the beast who came to Earth all those years past is the reason I found you here," the Namek felt the need to explain as he tied off the last bandage. "I chose to make certain you could be trusted, that Son had not made a mistake in returning life to you."

"Oh, so you weren't just prancing along, looking for someone's ass to kick? Coulda fooled me."

"Such a thing I did not think difficult, once."

"You're on fire today, Namek," Radditz growled, gathering the scraps of his jeans and what remained of his sweater. The warm shirt had been made just for him by Chi-Chi and delivered by Yamcha a few weeks ago. It was blue wool so dark, it was nearly black and now it was torn, dirty and spotted with both of their blood. It had taken nearly as much damage as Radditz had before he'd thought to move the fight elsewhere. The sight of it in such disarray infuriated him and he had no idea why.

"How 'bout I'm pissed that you ruined my only means of keeping warm back home-"

"Allow me to repair it, then."

Radditz moved clumsily to his feet, silent and oblivious as the Namek worked his magic to make the garment as good as new. He was distracted, alright, but by something new and more than a little bit frightening. He'd called Yamcha's cabin "home". He hadn't thought of a place as a home since old planet Vegeta had blown up. And he didn't even remember what it was like there- just stories Nappa had told over the years! He was vaguely aware of the Namek talking to him, but he shook his head and walked away, leaving his clothing behind and taking off again when he reached the edge of the upland.

Mercifully, the Namekian didn't follow him. Radditz took his time flying back- back home. It was the absolute weirdest thing! How and why did a place like Yamcha's and a guy like Yamcha make him feel so welcome by doing, well, nothing at all! When did he go from planning to someday kill the guy to wanting to fuck him senseless… and then stay with him afterwards? It was the atmosphere! There was something in the air on Earth that made people soft, that corrupted their minds and played with their dicks and cunts and got them so turned around they thought they were in lo-

_Hah, nope! Nice try, Earth, but you're dealing with a_ real _Saiyan! Not some brain-damaged kid or a psychologically and physically stunted prince!_ Radditz was stronger in his head and his tough, manly, Saiyan heart. He just wanted a good fuck- it had been half a lifetime or more!- and he was going to get it and then he'd be right again. No more foreign thoughts or admittedly terrifying, new feelings. No feelings at all- how about _that_ , Earth! He'd finish seducing Yamcha, maybe stick around for a little bit and show the human all his moves, then hit the road and find someone else to fuck. Not to mention he had to start training- he had a lot of catching up to do! No time for fake shit like love, not in his new, busy life!

Radditz nodded smartly to himself as he flew, elated that he'd managed to, if not figure out what was happening to him, then at least stop it from taking over his mind. He wouldn't be sucked in and dragged down like Kakarot and Vegeta! He'd stay a _true_ Saiyan warrior! Never mind that Kakarot and Vegeta were two of the most powerful men in the known universe- that was all hard work and tough training and defeating scores of intergalactic trouble makers. Nothing to do with Earth and- and- no, he wasn't going to even _think_ it! Radditz- two, Earth- nothing!

He was grinning when he landed outside Yamcha's place, though it would've been hard for any observer to tell, since it was after dark on that side of the world. He let himself in and was met at the threshold with the mouthwatering scents of dinner. Just in time!

"Honey, I'm home!" He called, mimicking the lead character from their favourite show. Somewhere in the kitchen, Yamcha laughed.

"Go wash up for supper, dear!" Yamcha replied in a falsetto that broke with laughter in the middle. Radditz could hear Puar snickering, too. He punched himself in the stomach to quiet his own laughter and the warm twinge at being called "dear", even in jest. Oh, he had to be on his guard from now on, did he? That was just fine- he could be _super_ vigilant!

He frowned at his reflection in the bathroom mirror when he realized he'd done just as Yamcha asked, even though they'd both been joking. Damnit! Was everything going to be so difficult from now on?! He was _just_ boasting about how easy it would be to fight off whatever Earth's atmosphere was trying to do to him and there he was, dutifully washing his hands before a meal. He shut the water off too hard and had to fight the handle back in place over a spray of water. He'd fix it properly later- _or not_! No, he wouldn't- he didn't have to do anything around here! He was a Saiyan warrior, not a plumber!

Resolve renewed, he sauntered into the kitchen and grabbed his chair, turning it around and dropping into it across from Yamcha. Both human and cat gave the Saiyan a weird look, but shrugged it off when he offered them a lop-sided smile. They ate in a mostly companionable silence for a while and Radditz tried not to notice that he could almost feel the two sets of eyes on him.

"Who'd you spar with?" Yamcha asked, his voice breaking into Radditz's thoughts so suddenly the Saiyan dropped his fork. _Oh, real smooth. You're doing great._

"Hah, I'd ask how you knew, but I guess the taped ribs are a dead giveaway, huh?"

"Well, your jeans are practically gone- and where's your sweater?"

"Don't forget all the dirt," Puar pointed vaguely around Radditz with his fork.

"Oof, and the smell," Yamcha chuckled, waving a hand as if to clear the air.

"What, you want me to shower? Is my _stink_ offending you, gentle Earth people?" Radditz stood and slapped the table, denting it, caving it in a little. Yamcha and Puar exchanged another look and the Saiyan snorted. "I don't need this- I'll see you assholes later."

He didn't wait for either of them to say more- or try to stop him- he was out the door and into the cold, night sky within seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in one version of the Viz manga, Piccolo gets some really weirdly-written dialogue in the first and possible second volume. I love it, so I try to write him like that as often as possible. ...In case you were wondering if/when he had a stroke or something. I also wanted to portray more time passing, that the things Radditz is struggling with snuck up on him very gradually. It's almost spring by the end of this chapter.


	5. What Does That Say About Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamcha puts the pieces together. He's a little alarmed at the picture they make.

They sat in silence for a few moments after Radditz stormed out. Neither one knew what to say; the Saiyan's outburst had been so sudden and seemingly unprovoked.

"He was fine this morning," Yamcha muttered as he cleared the table after their meal. Puar watched him from the counter, glancing between the water running into the kitchen sink and his friend, brow furrowed. He wasn't sure what had set Radditz off, either, but he'd certainly noticed a mood change when the Saiyan had joined them for dinner. Yamcha had been all smiles and only too content to watch their guest inhale his food to notice that Radditz was eating much slower than usual and focusing solely on his plate. Something had happened that afternoon, something more than a simple fight or spar.

"I felt him power up," Yamcha was saying, mostly to himself. "And then Piccolo joined in." He'd known that was who Radditz had been fighting, but had wanted to hear from the Saiyan, personally, about it. He hoped it had been a good spar and assumed Radditz would want to brag during dinner. "He wouldn't hurt Gohan's uncle, Gokuu's brother. I mean, shouldn't- wouldn't Radditz have been happy to get a fight, out of anyone?"

Puar nodded, devoting his full attention to the dishes he washed. He didn't like to see Yamcha so agitated, especially when there wasn’t anything he could do to help.

"Maybe he was just sore about getting beaten again?" The shape shifter offered. He glanced up in time to see Yamcha nod absently.

"Yeah, I guess he could've been. But… He _knows_ everyone's stronger- he's… I figured he'd come to terms with it, that he was just gonna train and, I dunno, bide his time? You think something like a scuffle with Piccolo would piss him off like that?"

"He doesn't have a history of being a good loser, you know," Puar replied with a shrug. "He was probably just frustrated and didn't want to think about it. I'm- I'm sure he's fine. It was nothing and he'll be back before too long."

They didn't talk about Radditz again until after the dishes had been put away and they were halfway through the new episode of their- Radditz included- favourite sitcom. Yamcha hadn't paid attention to most of the show, too distracted by what Radditz was up to and what had really upset him. He worried that he'd somehow done something- it had happened often with Bulma. One moment, they would be snuggling on her sofa and the next, she would scream at him about forgetting an important date, or something she'd said months ago.

Canned laughter broke into his thoughts and Yamcha started at the realization that he was comparing Radditz to Bulma. Radditz was his friend; he had, against every odd, become his friend. But Bulma… Bulma had been more than that; she had almost been his first lover.

"You haven't blinked in like a minute," Puar was waving a paw in front of him and Yamcha shook his head, squeezing his dry eyes closed. "Are you okay? Seriously- whatever's going on with Radditz is no big deal. Don't worry-"

"I can't do that," Yamcha interrupted flatly, shoving to his feet and pacing the length of the room. "He's only been on Earth for a year or so, he doesn't know much- anything!- about this place! _Everyone_ can kick his ass and he's been told by those same people that he's not allowed to do- well, _anything_ he's used to doing! He's an alien, alone on a strange world and he's out there pouting over god knows what- how can I _not_ worry about him?"

He panted, stopping in the middle of the room, eyes darting to the front door and out the window. The longer Radditz was gone, the more it felt like it was Yamcha's fault, but he had no idea what he could have said or done. It didn't make any sense and he hated feeling like this! He hated not knowing how someone he cared about… felt…

"It's not like any of the people that can take him in a fight want to kill him, Yamcha," Puar said quietly from his perch on the arm of the sofa.

"Hold on, just- just hold on a second." Yamcha put his hands up and shook his head. He was almost onto something- it felt like he was very close to figuring something _very_ important out and he just needed some quiet to do so. He was comparing Radditz to his old- only- girlfriend. He was worried about the other man. He liked spending time with the Saiyan and- and he liked being close to him. …He enjoyed looking at Radditz, at that huge, muscular, masculine body…

"I- I think he's-. Oh shit, Puar. I'm- I like Radditz. I _really_ like him. What does that… say about me?"

"…Do you want to know or are you rambling to yourself?" Puar examined the back of one paw before looking up at his lifelong best friend. Yamcha nodded dumbly.

"It says that you like the jerk," the shape shifter began with a shrug. "It says that you've been able to look past how big of a dick he is to the _almost_ decent guy that's hiding _way down deep inside_ of him. I've seen the way you look at him- he's noticed, too. And all that says is that you, well, you like what you see. Even though you were terrified, you liked Bulma just the same, right? This isn't too different-"

"It's pretty different," Yamcha interrupted, annoyed.

"Not really. You used to be kind of afraid of him, then you got to know him and, hey, he's pretty hot for an intergalactic murderer. Gokuu saw fit to get him a second chance, so he can't be all _that_ bad. And according to him, he's not as bad as Vegeta was, so that's _really_ saying something!"

"But he's- we're both… guys. What does that say about me?"

"Does it have to say _anything_? You like him and he obviously likes you so I'm not seeing a problem here."

"I don't know what to- to do with another man!"

"You could just keep doing what you've been doing," Puar chuckled, ignoring the glare Yamcha sent him. "Nothing's changed except that you've finally caught up with the rest of us. You like him- _tell him that_. He seems to know what he's doing so, if you're into it, follow his lead. Take your time and enjoy yourself- like you've been doing, you idiot. There are worse people you could fall in love with."

"Oh fuck you," Yamcha spat, turning away and crossing his arms as he hunched into himself. "I never said I loved him and you don't- you just aren't getting it!"

Puar sighed dramatically and fell back onto the couch, tiny arms spread wide and feet splayed. He'd spent nearly his entire life with the man and still managed to be baffled by such a simple hang-up.

"Okay, maybe you don't _love_ him. Yet. But you're close and you sure as hell wouldn't mind if he got closer. You've thought about kissing him and him kissing you- I've seen it on your face, you big baby. Suck it up- you like the guy. You like _one guy_! There's nothing wrong with that and you know it- you're just fishing for an excuse to run and not deal with this real, non-issue."

"I'm afraid of getting hurt again," Yamcha replied so quietly, Puar almost didn't hear him. Another, smaller, more sympathetic sigh left the cat and he floated over to his friend, placing a paw on his shoulder.

"He's not going to hurt you- if you'd just look a little longer into those moon eyes he's always giving you, you'd see he's _just_ as into you. He has been for _months_ now, he just realized it sooner than you. Am I seriously the only one around here who can pick up on these things? Geez, you guys are thick in the head!"

Yamcha chuckled, the sound small but not devoid of humour. Puar rested his chin on his crossed paws, leaning on Yamcha's shoulder. His friend reached up and patted him on the back, leaving his hand there for several long moments.

"This is crazy," he whispered.

"Love is crazy," Puar elaborated. "It usually is- just look at all your friends!"

"You really think…" Yamcha trailed off, thinking over his words for a minute or so before trying again. "You think I won't get- that he… likes me?"

"I've never been surer of something, I swear. Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"Crazy. In love with a big, stupid Saiyan. I guess… I guess I could do worse, huh?"

"Piccolo's still available," Puar answered drolly and was dislodged from his perch by Yamcha's boisterous laughter.

They sat on the floor, Puar in Yamcha's lap, for more than an hour. The fire had died down to dull, red embers by the time Yamcha got up. He stirred the ashes and coaxed some small flames to life before getting ready for bed. It was late- later than he normally went to sleep- but he found he wasn't tired. He was still nervous, still a little unsure about the whole thing he may or may not have with Radditz. But Puar often saw things he didn't and his dearest friend had never done anything to get him hurt. Sure, they'd gotten into plenty of trouble over the years, but that had pretty much been entirely Yamcha's fault.

He eventually drifted into a fitful doze, half listening for the front door, for now-familiar footsteps in the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this didn't feel rushed. This chapter was mostly a realization/revelation- Yamcha had been thinking about it for a while, but never for too long. And, in case it wasn't clear (I'm good at being muddy in my writing), Puar is pretty sure Yamcha's bisexual. Because he loved Bulma and I'm sure looked at/tried to talk to other women, after they broke up.  
> Bulma totally broke it off with him, FYI. No way in hell Yamcha would even THINK about another women when he was with her.


	6. Maybe He Feels, Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Radditz copes with personal issues regarding feelings and whether or not he has them. He gets a little help from another Special Guest. (The Notes at the end are pretty long)  
> A great song to listen to while reading this chapter is Guster's "Do You Love Me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not in love  
> So don't forget it  
> It's just a silly phase I'm going through  
> And just because  
> I call you up  
> Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made  
> I'm not in love, no no  
> -I'm Not In Love, 10cc

_That went_ spectacularly _well!_ He cursed himself for miles, only stopping when he was back in a warmer climate, but this time, over an ocean. Radditz relaxed his chi and dropped into the cool water, letting his weight drag him down. He swam in the general direction of the last dot of land he had seen, only coming up for air when his lungs- and ribs- started burning. He hauled himself ashore and crawled clear of the waves before collapsing on a still-warm beach. The sun had set there maybe a couple hours ago and the stars were still winking into view. Not a single cluster of them looked familiar and he didn't expect them to- he'd never spent more than a few months on any given world, that he could remember, and so never learned any constellations.

 _Wow am I ever acting stupid_ , was his first coherent thought. The words sounded more like Nappa than himself and he let out a dry laugh- the old man was the closest thing to a father he'd had. His memories of Bardock were fuzzy, at best and made up, at worst. He wondered what Nappa would have to say to him about the whole Yamcha thing. And that made him wonder what the old ape would think of Vegeta and Bulma. Would he think they were all weak, despite the proof of Vegeta's power? Would he scoff at Kakarot and Vegeta's actual god forms? And what about Radditz's own nephew- a massive power in his own right, if he would just exercise it!

_Is it the planet, or is it us? What if… What if that's the real secret? What if the reason Kakarot and Vegeta got as far as they did, if Gohan has the power he does, is because… Because of…_

Fuck, he did _not_ want to say it, didn't want to _think_ it, even! But it was right there, dangling in front of him, dancing around and mocking him, floating like a blue cat and wearing the smiling, scared face of a very handsome man…

"Godsdamnit all- what if it's love?!"

"What if it is?" A woman asked. Radditz floundered in the sand, trying to get to his feet. When he located the new voice, he wasn't surprised that he didn't recognize her. She was a petite thing, with shoulder length blonde hair and ice-blue eyes. She was watching him with an almost scientific detachment, but there was a wariness to her and her stance was openly communicating defense. Radditz looked beyond her and saw a tiny, pink house that looked strangely familiar.

"What if it _is_ love? Is that a problem?" She didn't relax, even though her voice was soft and even.

"I- I don’t know," he answered, compelled to do so honestly. "I've never- this doesn't happen to Saiyans."

She laughed at him, the sound high and light, warm and a little mocking. He wanted to be mad at her- how dare she!- but the whole thing, his entire, new life, was so incredibly ridiculous, that he found himself laughing with her.

"Every Saiyan that's ever been here or come here has fallen in love- you're not the first."

"It's a first for _me_!" He insisted, moving a little closer to her before dropping back down to the sand, his hands twisting and tangling in his hair.

"So I'll ask you again- is that a problem? Do you not want to be in love?"

"I don't know! It's too weird and I- I feel… I _feel_."

"Hmm, yeah, that is strange when it happens. Especially if you've never felt anything before." She spoke as if she knew- was it more empathy, or could this beautiful woman have more to her than initially appeared? His hands relaxed their grip in his mane and fell to the soft ground. "I didn't plan this-"

"No one does," she chuckled.

"And I don't, _not_ want it," he paused to scoop a handful of sand off the beach and watch it slide through his fingers. "But I- _fuck_. I don't know what to _do_ about it!"

"Tell her how you feel-"

"Him."

"Hm. Tell him how you feel, then. Maybe he can help you. Maybe he feels, too."

"Are you making fun of me?" He eyed her suspiciously. She smiled a small, almost secret smile.

"No. Not right now. It's late- go tell him. And after you do, come back and we can talk about it." She started to walk the short distance back to the little house, but turned around at the doorway. "Only, come back during the day- my husband and daughter are trying to sleep."

Radditz nodded, suddenly self conscious. He watched her go inside and then turn off the light before he took to the air again. He used a burst of chi to dry off on the way, not wanting to be any more chilled than the colder clime would make him. He felt like an idiot and he felt tired; a weariness that snaked down into his very core. He felt at all and it was still so alien, so much bigger than rage or hatred or the various other small, angry things he'd known before. Maybe the strange woman was right- maybe Yamcha could help. And, hey, being human, he undoubtedly had experience with all these weird feelings! It was an alarmingly simple solution and Radditz wanted to smack himself all over again.

He landed on the porch and let himself in. The kitchen was dark and the television was off. The fire sputtered, tiny flames licking desperately at the remains of a few logs. Radditz took his time carefully building the fire up again- not too much, but enough to keep the place warm until sunrise. He padded through the small house as quietly as he could, making his way down the hallway to Yamcha's room. The door was open- all the doors stayed open in winter, to help the heat circulate- and he slipped inside. His eyes had adjusted quickly to the low light and he side-stepped Puar's small bed to stand beside Yamcha's. He watched the other man for a few seconds, then for a few minutes, just drinking him in, going over details of the face he hadn't realized he'd already memorized. Radditz almost didn't want to wake him, but the weariness that had made his flight back so heavy was suddenly gone. He felt only a buzzing giddiness, a nervous energy that almost made him vibrate. He felt like he was shaking and brought a hand up to his face to confirm it- yep, he was as nervous as a kid on their first purge; nervous as he'd been with his first woman.

He took a deep, shaky breath and sat down on the edge of the bed. Yamcha stirred and squinted up at him, barely able to see in the dim room- the only light came from the small fire on the other side of the house and the stars outside.

"Radditz? What's- everything okay?" He blinked sleep from his eyes and sat up quickly, reaching for his bedside light. Radditz caught his hand and put it back on the bed.

"Yeah. Uh, I think everything's fine. I uh…" He paused and cleared his throat, the sound filling the room. "Sorry about dinner- I was a huge dick."

"Don't worry about it- I know you're a dick." They both chuckled, ignoring that Radditz had apologized for the first time in either of his lives.

"Listen, I was… I've been thinking, lately…"

"Uh oh," Yamcha laughed quietly.

"God, shut up- this is really hard!" Another missed opportunity for a dick joke sailed right past him. This was too important. "I want… _Fuck_ , this is really stupid! I want to kiss your gorgeous, asshole face!"

There. He'd said it, it was out there. He was thankful for the sparse lighting, almost certain Yamcha couldn't see his face. Seconds ticked by on the kitchen clock and the sound of Puar's even breaths filled the silence. Radditz didn't dare breathe until Yamcha said or did something.

"Well, okay," came his hesitant reply. Radditz sputtered, coughed, and had to hold onto the bed to keep from toppling over.

"Okay?"

"…Yeah, sure." Radditz felt his shrug, a sharp, stiff movement. "Go ahead. It would be pretty mean of me to say no, after you called me gorgeous and a-"

Radditz's mouth was on his, taking the rest of Yamcha's words. His hands came up to cup the other man's face, a thumb running over the scar on his cheek. Everything he'd discovered he felt went into the kiss; every strange, new feeling, every thought about Yamcha and everything he wanted to do to the human, he attempted to communicate with his lips, tongue and teeth. Mostly lips- it was really too early all around for teeth.

They were both breathing heavily through their noses when Radditz finally pulled away, but only about an inch- he didn't want to move too far, lest he realize he'd dreamed the whole crazy thing. His thumb smoothed Yamcha's scar and he could hear the other man lick his lips. One of Yamcha's hands came up and through a haze Radditz could make out the shadow of his fingers touch his own lips, then felt them ghost over his. He couldn’t help himself- he licked. Yamcha pulled back, but he didn't flinch; he was just surprised, not scared or disgusted.

"You, ah, you gonna do that again?" Yamcha asked, a little tremor in his voice.

That was all he needed- Radditz dove in for more, sliding his full weight onto the bed and pulling Yamcha into his lap. Neither one of them heard Puar snort awake, nor chuckle as he floated out of the room. He'd just sleep on the couch until that delightful, no doubt awkward, mess was over. And in the morning he'd call everyone and tell them the news. Yamcha would be fine- this was exactly what he needed- but Puar hoped that Radditz had a hell of a time living it down. After all, true Saiyan warriors didn't fall in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friend of mine thought it was weird that Radditz would open up to a stranger. But I thought that that was just the kind of person he needed for such a revelation. He certainly couldn't say it around his brother- Gokuu would probably tease him endlessly. And he wouldn't want to say anything to Gokuu's family, either. Goten might not think he's such a cool uncle and Gohan is little more than a kid to him, even now. Chi-Chi would have been out of the question. Also, Gokuu was part of the problem. He was a Saiyan that had come to Earth and eventually fallen in love. He was "infected", in a way, as Radditz sees it.
> 
> Similarly, he wouldn't be able to talk to Vegeta (and especially not Bulma, since her teasing would be way worse than Gokuu's). Vegeta was a case far too similar to Radditz's and I don't think they ever had a good relationship, that they ever really sat down and talked to each other. Vegeta had left him dead, after all. That's not easy for Radditz to just let go of.
> 
> My friend also pointed out that it was odd that Radditz didn't notice he'd arrived at Kame House, but I don't think it's that strange. He found the place via scouter and only stuck around long enough to smack Krillin and Gokuu around, then fly off with Gohan. While the events that transpired on Earth would stay with him forever, I don't think he'd pin locations to those memories. The house would look familiar, but he's also in a state of distress, trying to figure out why or how he has all these terrible, new feelings! That's why he left that nice sweater behind- don't worry, I'm sure Piccolo will get it back to him- and that's why he had no idea where he'd wound up. He was just flying for warmer weather, someplace that didn't remind him of Yamcha or the place he was thinking of as "home".
> 
> Which brings me to talking to strangers- I think 18 was the perfect person for that scene. She's kind of been in a similar spot, what with being turned into a cyborg that, at least temporarily, had her emotions squashed and her brain mucked up. She still remembers what it was like to start feeling again, to fall in love with Krillin and to begin really living. Sure, she was human before, but I don't think she remembers much of that time. I think she and 17 were pretty young and everything that happened to her since- not to mention the kind of "reprogramming" Gero likely did- made her old life extremely fuzzy, if not erased it altogether.
> 
> Again, Radditz wasn't really thinking- he was having a good old fashioned internal freak-out that found its way outside of him. Which was why he never questioned that she knew about Saiyans- everyone else in the universe knew about his people, so Radditz didn't think it was weird that someone he'd never met knew, as well. 
> 
> And 18 just seems, to me, to have this very calming demeanor about her. Even though she was on-guard and ready to kick his ass at the slightest provocation, she was also able to recognize that he was upset. And since she isn't a big talker, since she's very low-key, it was almost like she wasn't really there. If that makes sense. She was like a therapist, guiding him towards what he didn't think he was ready to admit. And she saw a little of herself in him, as well )all of Gokuu's friends had been informed when Radditz was wished back, so she knew who he was). She remembered her fear and anger and the host of other things she basically re-learned and how much easier, how great it was, to become human again with Krillin helping her.
> 
> Oh, and I want to get into a backstory behind Puar knowing about "true Saiyans". No, he wasn't reading Radditz's mind and I didn't muck up and think Radditz had said any of that out loud. :)
> 
> Thank you for reading! I really enjoyed writing it!


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